 Post by Rev. Dr. Arvid Straube,
SpiritRest Lead Spiritual Director “If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to us as it is, infinite.” ~~Aldous Huxley Our retreat is ending and we are not the same. In the container of silence, among a supportive community, and at a beautiful retreat center, we can let go of the way we usually face the world. For most of us, most of the time, we don’t notice what is going on in the moment, distracted by the mental dialog that is often concerned with what we things we need to fix or figure out. With some mindfulness, which we have cultivated in these few days, we can perceive that there is a subtle, or not so subtle, fear behind this anxious narrative. And we are ordinarily not even aware of it, though it can lead us to moods, words or actions that don’t serve us. In the meantime, outside of our usual perception, a world of infinite beauty beckons us. As the mind stills and mindfulness increases, there are moments when the song of a bird or even the sound of a passing car beguiles us. The beauty of a blossoming shrub can stop us, and we are captured by it to the extent that all sense of a separate self disappears. That is bliss and rest. And these kinds of experiences increase as the retreat goes on. We will have to go back to the world of decisions and responsibilities today. That world might seem harsh and loud after the silence. But we now have these experiences as a part of us. And we have learned spiritual practices and perspectives that we can take with us. And many of us are looking forward to next year’s retreat.
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Post by Rev. Sharon Wylie, SpiritRest Coordinator Each day at SpiritRest has its own life, its own story, its own challenges. Thursday is the day of deepest silence, as retreatants' inner voices have slowed, and they have grown accustomed, at last, to not talking. It is also the day when we start to look ahead to leaving. Retreatants are making lists of the things they want to remember, the practices they want to try back at home. Now every moment feels precious. The gift of this place, the greenery, the beautiful roses. The puzzle sits completed, a testament to our communal efforts. Handwritten notes and charts from teaching sessions hang on the walls of our retreat room, evidence of our learning together. Thousands of magazine clippings are scattered across tables, in case anyone wants to make one more collage. Retreatants hurry to the labyrinth for one last walk. Next dinner, then silent Qi gong, then singing at the labyrinth, then vespers. Tomorrow after breakfast we will start talking again, to process the week's experiences. I am always eager for Friday morning, to hear what people's weeks have been like. It is a strange thing to be in community together for five days, and yet to know each other so little. We will remember to wear name tags tomorrow, because after almost a week of silence, we don't know each other's names.  Post by Rev. Lucy Bunch, Spiritual Director We’re just beyond the halfway point here at SpiritRest and people have settled into their new patterns and practices. It does take a while to let the silence embrace you, but by Wednesday afternoon you can feel a sense of calm pervading our spaces. There is lots to do here at SpiritRest, but you don’t have to do any of it. What there is very little of is talking. The leaders talk in some of the sessions, and you talk for 30 minutes during spiritual directions, but the rest of the time is silent. Every year I marvel at how community is created with almost no verbal interactions. I find myself feeling connected to my fellow retreatants, caring about them, and wishng them well. And I feel particularly connected to the jigsaw puzzle team. Each year we bring a 1000 piece puzzle for the table in our communal space. Those of us devoted to this practice, dive in. Our heads bowed over the table; sometimes we will point out a piece that we think someone is looking for, or hand them a piece that matches the area they are working on, but usually not. We are creating together in silence. After I leave the table, someone else may step up and complete the section I was struggling with. What a joy to come back later and see the progress of our little puzzle community. What a joy to be together in silence and community. My heart is full. 
Many shared a desire to set aside daily routines, to explore new ways of being, listen more deeply, and connect with insights. Some were intrigued to experience all the teachings and spiritual practice sessions being offered, while others were drawn to what might be possible during unstructured times. The story told during the evening vespers service was of a seeker yearning to grow into a more loving relationship with his child. As it turned out, he already knew how to do that. He just needed to shift his focus and have someone mirror that truth to him. Retreats facilitated by UU Spiritual Directors are designed to help bring about just such a shift in focus. They take us out of our mundane environments and routines, offering many different ways to grow in awareness of who we are and what we are truly capable of.  As I watch the sun rise over the valley on this beautiful first full day of retreat, I give thanks for this space and time set apart for such sacred shifting. I bless all those whose courageous curiosity brought them here. In communal silence and solitude may we come to better hear the voice of Love, and learn to sing its song.     SpiritRest leaders have made the difficult decision to cancel our in-person retreat this year.
We realized last week that a cluster of challenges was facing us: registration is unusually low, COVID is surging, and we are scheduled to share the retreat center with two other retreats, so will not be able to ensure their safety precautions or have access to our regular retreat spaces. Our low registration is in line with what other UU gatherings are seeing this year. There may be a variety of reasons, but surely concern about COVID is one of them. At a time we would like to reassure potential retreatants of our safety measures, we are positioned to be in an unusually crowded retreat situation. This combination of factors has brought us to cancel this year’s retreat. We know this will be a disappointment for those who have registered, just as it is a disappointment to those of us who lead the retreat. We are looking forward to being together in 2023.
We tried to reduce the risk with the new Delta variant. All participants were vaccinated and any singing we did was outdoors or we were completely masked.
In past years, retreatants would come from lives that were hectic, over-scheduled and full of people, commitments, and activities. The silence was a healing balm for the spirit. Healing silence was a feature of this year’s retreat as well, but for many, this was the first time they were in the company of a group of in the flesh humans. We all had wounds, traumas, fears and griefs from the ongoing pandemic. There was more need to process out loud in group sessions. The sharing in spiritual direction tended to deal with deeper life issues. Almost all the participants dug deep into the practices for healing trauma that were presented in the group read, My Grandmother’s Hands. The workshops gave participants the opportunity to work with what came up in the silence and spiritual practice as well. All in all, this year’s retreat was intense and deep. We held each other in the silence and when we spoke, creating safety. We sang and sang. We did walking meditation and walked the labyrinth. We did Qi Gong and other body practices. We listened to what our hearts and spirits were telling us.  Post by Rev. Lucy Bunch, Spiritual Director
Many retreatants come to Spiritrest with a specific idea of something they want to contemplate or process. There is certainly tremendous opportunity for this kind of retreat with workshops and spiritual direction, as well as personal time for solitude. But this year I came to SpiritRest with the goal of resting. Of course I have responsibilities as one of the spiritual directors and workshop leaders, but otherwise I have been resting. It has been a hard year and I am quite worn down, struggling to find joy in my work, to find joy in anything. So I have been sleeping a lot, and when I am not leading or meeting, doing quite a bit of nothing. You might even say I’ve been moping a bit, hoping to find my way back to joy, but not really committed to the process. But the Great Mother had other ideas for me. She has put on quite a show to lift my spirits. Her first gift was the spider web. I was sitting in a chair rocking (one of our settling practices) and maybe moping at bit, when I saw it. It was so magnificent I gasped. Hanging between two trees, its intricate design was captured in the sunlight. The nest day her gift was a bunny, and not just any bunny, but an adorable one with a white cotton tail. I was eating breakfast outside, minding my own business, when it hopped on over. Generally, my experience with bunnies is that they scurry away when they see people. Not this one – it paused right in front of me and posed, as if for my benefit. Who can resist the charm of a bunny? I didn’t even try. The next evening, it was a racoon. I had never seen one that close. It was nighttime and most people had gone to bed. He was perched on the edge of the garbage can rummaging through the contents. He looked up – our eyes met. It was startling and amazing. Then this morning, coming down the stairs after breakfast, there was a peacock standing there in all its its strutting glory. I had just been reading a story about a peacock the night before! The blue of his feathers was so incredibly beautiful it startled me – again. I felt a wry amusement and said a quick prayer – OK Mother Spirit, I get it, I feel it. You have startled me into joy with these gifts of beauty. You have helped me to remember, to take in and connect with your gifts. It is our last full day of retreat and right now, those who choose are attending a workshop titled “Reflect, Release, Integrate and Ground.” That pretty much sums up the task for this day. We have deepened in our time here; hearts are open, and spirits are engaged. But we are also holding the awareness that tomorrow we will be going back to the real world, the one where people talk (al lot!), where there is traffic, and laundry, and people or projects that will take our time and energy. And so we savor this last day, and consider what we want to take with us from this experience. I have learned to be more present with the beauty that is right before my eyes, to pause and take delight. I know I don’t have to go to a retreat center to find this beauty, it is everywhere on our wonderful planet. But I did have to come to SpiritRest to remind myself to stop, to look, and to take joy and delight in the beauty that was waiting for me. Thank you Great Mother for your blessings.  Post by Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale, Spiritual Director
This year’s retreat feels different. Because it is. SpiritRest 2021 was designed with a specific focus beyond being a space for UUs to engage in personal spiritual reflection. It was designed to bring attention and care to the many changes and challenges suffered not only in response to racism and social inequities, but also those related to the pandemic. These changes and challenges are ongoing; the stress of vigilance continues. It’s clear that chronic stress wreaks havoc on bodies, minds and spirits. It can make it so hard to stay present to life’s challenges, to recognize its beauty and potential. This year’s retreat is woven in support of all these realities - offering a variety of stories, metaphors, embodied experiences, and spiritual practices as tools for resilience. One story told yesterday invited us to consider and keep watch for the unity/the divinity reflected within each and every person, thing, and experience. Even those that feel radically “different” or uncomfortable. Life is diverse and complex and often feels fragmented. This story invited presence and “holy curiosity” in response to all of it; to not look away and to recognize sacred purpose in the work of piecing together meaning and wholeness. Another story made a comparison between our bodies and the biblical “holy ark.” Our precious cargo consists not only of our highest ideals and intentions, but also our traumas, regrets, and shortcomings. We carry and are affected by all of them. It can be life-giving to choose to consider that “God” (unity/healing, etc.) is in ALL those pieces; in EVERY part of us, in every moment, as we journey toward freedom. This story reveals that God is also in the spaciousness within and between us. So we are invited to protect that space. SpiritRest has always been a special experience for me, both as a participant and as a Spiritual Director. But this year it feels especially precious. This year, instead of reveling in the intentional simplicity and solitude of retreat from the crush of “too many people and obligations,” I find myself overcome with gratitude for the spacious nearness of other human beings. Go figure. It’s been a long time. What a delicious sense of abundance and joy to sit together (masked and safely spaced outdoors), singing songs of comfort and faith. I see such authenticity, such vulnerability and mutual respect in the eyes of those beside whom I move silently through the cycle of each day. It makes me aware of how much is missed when our paths cross only online. Today is our third full day together. As I write this, I hear a gentle voice in the lounge guiding retreatants into body grounding practices. It is a warm, slightly overcast SoCal morning. I hear birds singing; a bunny nibbles at the grass in the garden; the scent of roses fills the air. All of it is “ordinary”. And yet… Rev. Stefanie Etzbach-Dale
8:30 AM – I connected with my first spiritual directee. The two of us gathering around my altar (pictured here). She shared and I served as an instrument of the Divine. She left feeling ministered to. Awesome! 11:30 – Qi gong captured my attention. Shyly I made my way to the flower lined patio and joined several comrades, some with bare feet, posed on the still dewy grass. With patience and humor, my colleague Rev. Lucy Bunch, lead us through the 8 Brocades of Qi gong. My favorite movement was the Eye of the Tiger. Powerful stuff. One session and I am convinced to try again. YAHOO, new spiritual practice!! There was a yummy Greek salad for lunch and white fish with a lemon herb sauce for dinner. How sweet it is to eat healthy food that I did not have to prepare on dishes that I did not have to load into the dishwasher or wash by hand. What a privilege. Thank you, Mary & Joseph Retreat staff. 7:30 PM – Taizé inspired signing out by the Labyrinth. Our sun is setting. The air is chilly with a gentle breeze floating over the hill. All the song sheets are given out. Folx still arriving - we must share. A second wooden bench is put in place to accommodate the number of enthusiastic participants and to provide some measure of social distancing. Masks cover our nose and mouth. We lift our voices in soul stirring harmonies. Some of us begin to cry. It is emotionally overwhelming to sing together. It is good to be together. An inspiring way to break the silence at the close of our second day. 8:00PM – Vespers. Still vibrating from the experience of singing; we slowly stroll to the Chapel. Once again, we dawn our Mask to sing. Then we are transported to the world of trees. Rev. Sharon Wylie reads aloud from the Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben. Our souls are reminded of the majesty and splendor of trees and our interconnected web. Did you know that trees are about 50% water and we humans are 60% water? We are related. 8:30 - Self Soothing. Many of us have traveled many journeys this day. For a brief 20 minutes folx are invited to find a comfortable spot to be in the Chapel. Yoga mats, pillows, eye coverings and snuggly blankets appear. Mother earth holds us as we rock and sway with the images in the meditation. We prepare to sleep, to let go and make way for the body to restore the body. My soul feels peaceful and ready to bid this day adieu. I make my way to the lounge where there is an urn of hot water at the ready for tea and an oversized bag of gourmet popcorn. Seated in front of the large wall to wall window facing the Courtyard I make myself comfortable. Eyes softly gazing upon the night beauty through the glass. Low and behold a handsome raccoon appears. And another and another. For a short while, we companion each other as we enjoy our respective snacks from our semi-protected places. Surely Spirit is in this place. Good night and blessed be! “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin
Some people arrive here to take a break from serious family situations. Some people arrive during a larger time of rest: a vacation or sabbatical. Whatever our personal situations, many of us arrive here tired and worn out.
One of the great blessings of retreat is simplicity—meals are taken care of, and there is nothing to do except what you want to do. Arriving Sunday evening and having dinner taken care of is immediately its own kind of bliss. During our orientation session, Arvid leads us in a loving kindness meditation. It is an immediate relief to slow down, to ground and center, to offer ourselves and others love, compassion, and wishes for well being. It will take a few days to leave behind the jitteriness of the outside world. But just arriving here and being in a different space, feeling the invitation to slow down and just be, is an enormous blessing. I’m grateful to be here, and I’m looking forward to the days ahead. |
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